direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
