shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
