today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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