Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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