I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So squirting runs in the family.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
