ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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