Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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