FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
