Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
