I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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