Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
