did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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