You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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