Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
