it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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