Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I believe in your delicious
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
