K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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