I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize