why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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