I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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