so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
