Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
