I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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