So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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