is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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