Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
