oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
