she was so not down for the gang bang
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
