as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
