my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
