so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
