No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
