i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
