She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
