Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
