You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize