I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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