dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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