Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.

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(585): View more from New York

Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone

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(530): View more from California

the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo

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(808): View more from Hawaii

guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card

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(713): View more from Texas

Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.

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(317): View more from Indiana

They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.

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(248): View more from Michigan

IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra

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