Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.