You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
