do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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