This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
