just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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