oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
