Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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