I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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