OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
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He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
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I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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