i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
