You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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