I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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