either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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