So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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