i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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