I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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