It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
