What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
