the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
