If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I pour the whiskey from now on
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
