When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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