Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
