he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
