I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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